Russell Stovers Fruit Jellies
These small, gooey, tantalizing yummies are not only a joy to consume, they are also chock full of pectin!
As you well know,
the Pectin society is dedicated to bringing attention to charitable
organizations. Every month we shall give you the name and address
of at least one organization whose ideas are similar to those
of the Pectin Society.
This month's:
People for the
American Way
2000 M Street, NW, Suite 400
(202)467-4999
People for the American Way is dedicated to the protection of our constitutional rights and the democracy based on them. It works against prejudice and bias to promote tolerance and diversity.
"Everywhere" from Billy Bragg's Don't Try this at Home. We just saw Saving Private Ryan, and Olga keeps hearing this in her head.
Guess the source of this line. The first one to send in the correct response wins a surprise!
"You please me, subcreature."
*"Turning Japanese" refers not to the transformation of a person into an Asian, but to the facial contortions that accompany orgasms. Who knew?
*April Fools' Day was developed by Christians. After adapting the Pagan calendar to suit themselves, they teased Pagans for celebrating the new year on the "wrong" day.
When you buy products made in China, you support one of the only remaining Communist regimes. Though the people themselves do not always see the downfall of the political lifestyle, the Tibetans deal with it daily. The government fights to wipe out the pacifistic Tibetan Buddhists while oppressing their own brainwashed people.
For more information:
Rent Kundun, Red Corner, or Seven Years in Tibet.
Listen to Tibetan Freedom Concert.
Contact the Milareppa Fund. We do not currently possess this address, but it is probably located on the aforementioned CD.
There's Something About Mary.
This stellar movie features two of our favorites - Chris Elliot AND Ben Stiller. It also contains hilarimuth scenes that deal with The Three "F's" of Comedy. When you do see this movie, be sure you have your bladder attached to a tube that empties into a toilet.
The following episode of a television program is worth recording.
The episode of Dr. Katz in which he receiveds a traffic ticket. Once again, Ben Katz proves he is neither lazy nor dumb, simply misunderstood.
Hey all you beautiful pectin people! Thanks for joining. Don't forget to send in your dollar membership fee. If you feel you know any worthy candidates for the NPS, let us know. We'll be glad to send you additional applications. OR let us know where they live and we'll send one directly to their door.
Got any trivia, comments, or stories to share? Send your ideas to
[Aside: I put my address here in the print version, but obviously I won't do that now.]
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Send in your votes by [Aside: this was left empty]. The findings will be published in the next newsletter.
LEONARDO DICAPRIO IS GAY
___TRUE
___FALSE
___I THOUGHT HE WAS BI
___I THOUGHT SHE WAS PREGNANT
___SORRY, I HAVE BEEN LIVING IN A HOLE. OF WHOM DO YOU SPEAK?
Please write any comments below. We would really appreciate submissions of your writing for future issues. It would be appreciated. Isn't it true? Isn't it?
Olga says:
I couldn't get to sleep until like 5:00am so I slept until 1:00pm. I'll never be able to sleep enough and then get up for school and then stay awake through school. I'll die. But the good part is, I get to watch all the good cartoons that are on really late. Game shows, too. I like the Gameshow Network, except for the crappy games. I love the Cartoon Network. Even the crap. I've eaten sooo much frozen yogurt. I've been really bored too. I wonder if anyone else spends as much time as I do reorganizing my college information in many different ways, none of which are efficient or even complete. I move to a new system before I finish the last one. I'll have to finish this one because I have to finish my essays and apply. It makes me mad that all the colleges tell you to write your essays during the summer but don't send you anything until September. Ok. Bye.
Charlie be thinkin'...
that the only reason I get up at noon is to be completely awake by 12:30 so as to fully absorb the greatness that is Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist. All hail the bald doctor. I try to hate Gwyneth Paltrow because she's seeing Ben Affleck. She's actually keeping him "warm" for me, but just between us, I think she's sweet on 'im. I can't hate her though. She's too nice and talented. I hate it when you're tryin' to hate someone and they gotta go and be all nice and stuff and then you feel bad and think, "I belong in Hell." I almost burned my t.v. dinner tonight. I forgot to take the plastic cover off before placing the tray in the oven. I'm not dead yet. Or maybe I am. Maybe this is all just some maniacal scheme of Gwyneth's to drive me to the brink of insanity, thereby being so absorbed with my mental state that I forget about Ben. Well it ain't gonna happen sister! Kay, Bye.
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