I'm running out of products. I have a list somewhere that I can't find, but some of the products are repetitive anyway, so I need you guys to send in pectin products. You'd be surprised how many there are; you just have to look.
*The information that follows is directly from PETA's website.*
The following product is made from animal.
"Albumen.
In eggs,
milk, muscles, blood, and many vegetable tissues and fluids. In
cosmetics, albumen is usually derived from egg whites and used
as a coagulating agent. May cause allergic reaction. In cakes,
cookies, candies, etc. Egg whites sometimes used in "clearing"
wines. Derivative: Albumin."
According to PETA, this is an animal-friendly company. "Those marked with a dot (·) meet the Corporate Standard of Compassion for Animals (CSCA). Those marked with an asterisk (*) manufacture strictly vegan products:
"Abercrombie & Fitch (The Limited), 4 Limited Pkwy. E., Reynoldsburg, OH 43068; 614-577-6570"
As you know, the IPS is dedicated to bringing attention to charitable organizations everywhere. Every month you will receive the name and address of an organization whose ideas are similar to those of the IPS.
This Month's:
National Wildlife
Federation
P.O. Box 1637
Merriield, VA 22116-1637
This organization protects the animals that live in the wild and are endangered by careless people. Animals are cool!
*New Column!*
Whad up wid dat?!:
Okay, in our ongoing
effort to keep our members aware of the goings on in the world,
Olga and I are going to add more newsy stuff like this.
*This article is from The New York Times, EDITORIALS/LETTERS,
Tuesday, April 6, 1999*
"To the Editor:
"Regarding Prime Minister Zhu Rongji's visit to the United States, you say (editorial, April 5) that the American Government should 'dispel Chinese fears that a precedent is being set for future international military intervention in Tibet or other Chinese regions troubled by ethnic strife' by NATO actions in Kosovo.
"Why should Chinese fears be dispelled? What makes the situation in Kosovo different from the situation in Tibet, other than the fact that Chinese atrocities in Tibet have taken place over a longer period of time and that Tibet once had, in a way Kosovo never has, the recognition of the world community as a sovereign state?
"Is it simply a question of the fact that China is too big to mess with? Any other justification for nonintervention in Tibet would, it seems to me, apply to the situation in Kosovo as well.
ALEXANDER BEECROFT
Somerville, Mass., April 5, 1999"
If you would like more information, visit the ICT at www.savetibet.org or email us. We'll be glad to share our resources with you!
The following episode of a t.v. show is worth taping:
The Drew Carey Show (aired originally on 11/10/99.) It was a completely live show, and when a bell was rung, they had to change their lines on the spot. Stuff is funny. :D
First one to guess the source of the line wins a prize!
"I heard the saddest story about a can of Spaghetti O's this morning."
*New Column!*
It's Poetry Daddy O!:
It's poetry time baby--pronounced a la Conan O'Brien, babeh. So sit back and enjoy some solid vibes. *Sound of fingers snapping*
My apologies now if this offends anyone, but offending people is the best way to get people to think, and that's what the IPS is all about--getting people to think that is!
"What God Did Not Plan On"
Sleep well,
Weep well
Go to the deep well
As often as possible
Bring back the water,
Jostling and gleaming
God did not plan on consciousness
Developing so
Well. Well,
Tell him our
Pail is full
And He can
Go to Hell
--Stan Rice
24 June 93
So, I'm still waiting for donations from you, except for Stephanie who once again answered to the call of duty!
*New Column!*
Hmm, that's strange...:
Here's a column
that will take a look at conspiracies, weird coincidences, aliens,
and all of that good stuff. The following article is a paraphrase
of:
Gardner,Martin. The Incredible Dr. Matrix. Mysteries of the
Unexplained. Pleasantville, New York: The Reader's Digest
Associated, Incorporated, 1982.
Now then, imagine some ominous mystery music in the background.
This month, some Lincoln/Kennedy coincidences.
Lincoln--elected president 1860. Kennedy--1960.
Both assassinated on Fridays while their wives looked on.
Lincoln--shot in Ford's Theatre. Kennedy--shot while riding in a Lincoln convertible made by Ford.
Both succeeded by Southern Democratic vice-presidents named Johnson--Andrew and Lyndon.
Andrew Johnson--born 1808. Lyndon--1908.
Lincoln's secretary's first name--John. Kennedy's--Lincoln.
John Wilkes booth--born 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald--1939.
"Never There" by Cake. Dude, Sally and I LOVE this band--and this song. It's such our lives man. Not to mention, it's Cake--good food, good music. All of their songs have such a funky groove. Be cool baby! (I'm watching Conan right now.)
*Under New Management!*
Kick Ass Movie of the Month:
Alright everybody, Kick Ass Movie of the Month will be replaced by Blocking the Wall. If I ever feel like there is truly a kick ass movie that needs to be shared, then I will write about it. For now, this Kick Ass column will replace it. So it is written, so shall it be:
Blocking the Wall:
Dusting off the box for one more peek at a movie everyone forgot about.
by Video Store Sex Goddess Shadow Omega
Apologies in advance if you enjoyed Consenting Adults, but you all seem to be intelligent people. Keep in mind the views expressed by Shadow Omega are not necessarily endorsed by the IPS, its members or sponsors *g*
Consenting Adults
Directed by Alan J. Pakula
Starring Kevin Kline, Kevin Spacey, Mary-Elizabeth Mastrantonio
Many people will back me up when I say that I tend to give every movie the benefit of the doubt, especially a movie starring a gloriously tanned Kevin Spacey, (alright, alright, you guys know that Charlotte must interject here. You understand why I invited this girl to join the IPS now don't you? Okay, continue.) but about halfway through Consenting Adults I actually muttered, "Oh my God, I can't watch this" and turned off my VCR. In all fairness, the movie plays very well as a comedy, with Kevin Kline and the perennially (Again, interjection. Although a big word was used, do not mistakenly think that Shadow Omega is an alias of Olga's. Resume.) underrated Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio rounding out a far-too-good-for-this cast, but it takes a potentially intriguing idea and turns it into a humiliating would-be thriller.
Observing that perhaps Hollywood hadn't produced enough gritty suburban melodramas in the early 1990's, director Alan J. Pakula decided to up the ante up and shoot Consenting Adults, which oozes so much smarm and contrived "suspense" that you'd expect Jennifer Love Hewitt to pop in somewhere along the line in a thin tank top. She doesn't--(Interjection: Damn shame too y'know. Continue.) Pakula being the man who also brought us the equally smarmy but actually thrilling Presumed Innocent.
Consenting Adults begins with promise...Kevin Kline and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio are a loving, successful upper-middle-class suburban couple whose lives are suddenly made a little more interesting by the arrival of a scathingly blonde Kevin Spacey and his equally blonde wife. Things get *more* interesting as Kline struggles with his ethics against Spacey's hedonistic, quasi-felonious approach to life in general, and then things get *even more* interesting when the time comes for the men to discuss wife-swapping.
I'll admit it's right about this point that I began to think there was some meat to this movie. The acting was right on and the script to this point had been easily digestible. Then it seems as if someone stepped in, forcibly liberated the script from the screenwriter's hands, and held Pakula at gunpoint to make a movie that is all at once confusing, plodding, and very very disturbing.
The men swap wives, and the next morning Spacey's wife has been murdered (it takes them about an hour to arrive at this, the narrative hook, of the entire story).
The prime suspect? Kline! The audience knows that Spacey did it, but this film has such a low regard for its audience and itself that it mopes through another hour of Kline's misery and detective-work. Is the wife really dead? Who's conning who? Will Spacey turn Kline's family against him? How? Why? Who cares?
For the record, the 1998 Video Movie Guide gives this 1 star. Breakin' 2: Electric Bugaloo got 2 stars.
Have fun movie-renting audiences of America. Hope you like crap. (Interjection: I swear, niether Charlotte nor Olga wrote that. The girl's just that cool.)
I have decided that since Shadow has taken over my movie column, that I need to keep busy by doing book reviews! Yea! Yipee friggin skipee! As you may or may not know, I am the queen of concisosity when it comes to critiquing stuff, so I'm not going to make an exception here by going into detail about the book. I'm just giving you my impression and a couple of sentences that sum up the plot. Well, here's your book:
High Fidelity by Nick Hornby. Now, those of you who are obsessed with me may know that this book first caught my eye when I found out that John Cusack was working on the movie version, which comes out sometime within the next six months I think. Anyway, it's a very good book and a quick read. Rob has just broken up with his girlfriend and is going through one of those what-do-I-want-to-do-with-my-life things which leads him to sleep with an American folk-singer and track down old girlfriends in futile attempts for closure.
If you're into pop culture, you'll like it. If you like quirky characters, you'll like it. If you want to step into the mind of a nekkid-year-ol'-man (as Olga and I call 'em), then you'll like it. I liked it. Yep. That's all I have to say about that.
*Coming Soon!*
But I Like it Too!:
*New Column!*
Wacko Advice from Waco:
Our very own Big Penis Man has agreed to do this column on a monthly basis, so send in your burning questions!
"Dear BPM,
My boyfriend's family wants to meet me. I'm nervous and was wondering
if you had any tips as to what I should wear and say.
--Sleepless in Seattle"
Dear Sleepless in
Seattle,
So his family wants to meet you. I say that you wear a real sleazy
dress. That way you get the dad's attention. For the mom however
you have to touch her son constantly and I mean everywhere. The
most important thing you should say is that you're not a virgin
and you're a switch hitter, not that there's anything wrong with
that. Then, after you say that, hit on the mom and wink at her
like you have a nerve disorder. If everything goes according to
plan, his parents will hate you and you'll end up breaking their
little boy's heart. Maybe, just maybe, he'll also commit suicide.
Good luck!
"Dear BPM,
My mom won't get off my back! She wants me to settle down--find
a wife, have kids. I'm not ready for that stuff yet. I'm not done
having fun. How can I tell her?
--I've got mail"
Dear I've got mail,
I say that you slap the bitch and tell her you're gay and you
don't want to settle down with Jane Doe, but with John Doe. That
should shut her up and make her take you out of her will.
email:
Leave us comments, suggestions, and replies to the contests. We love member involvement at the IPS! Also let us know how you like the new layout. What would you change? What would you keep? What topics should we cover? Have you an idea for a monthly column?
Please, if you're reading this, respond to the above questions. There are currently only eight of you who get this, so it's crucial that I get responses to the requests I make in this newsletter. Please don't just read this and then throw it away; I work for hours on this, trying to make the IPS fun, but if I'm writing these for myself, then let me know so that I can save myself some trouble.
Thank you so very much Stephanie, Sally, Shadow, and BPM! Stephanie has sent in a generous amount of trivia and quotes. BPM agreed to author a monthly advice column and also sent in his golden Globes survey the same day it was sent out. Sally gave birth to: Hmm, That's Strange..., Whoriscopes, But I Like it Too, and It's Poetry Daddy O! Shadow volunteered to take over the Kick Ass Movie of the Month column as well as becoming the Official IPS Web Guru.
Also, congrats to Shadow who correctly identified the source of the Where's That From last month. It was "Buddy", Swimming With Sharks.
I hope the rest of you are taking the hint :D
Last month, we had the honor of gaining two new members: SCRAD and Shadow Omega! Welcome guys!
No more yearly dues, unless you request your newsletter on paper because we can email your newsletters to you. If you know that you're not on the mailing list because you're reading this from someone else's copy, for god's sake, give us your email address!
Don't forget that if you know somebody worthy of joining the IPS, let us know and we'll set them up with an application and stuff.
Be on the lookout for the Mill. Survey Results which will accompany the new Golden Globes survey. The Golden Globes survey is due January 15, 2000.
There was no party. Scotty D. and BPM did drop by to say hi and wish me a Happy New Year, which was so nice of them. Sally called me. I was the first person she called this year! I guess, from now on, if you guys want an IPS party, let me know because I'm really tired of planning parties nobody comes to. That's not me bitching; that's me being frank.
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